Blah

I am coming down or back from an extremely emotional week. I bottomed out a couple of different times and for me bottom out means that I am back to the old cycle of thinking I am worthless and of no good purpose…

today I am sitting under my covers just letting God love me. not feeling any guilt and letting God love on me…what does that look like?

Well telling myself that I am worthy of His love and that He loves me no matter how hurt I am…

I have a really difficult time wrapping my brain around the notion that I do not have to be perfect for him. that my emotional upheavals are perfectly alright by him…

that makes for a whole lot of acceptance and that, mostly, is something i am still not too good at.

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(click on photo to make bigger)

I don’t think God loves in spite. I mean if he did we would all be in deep weeds. I am coming to believe; and I mean really believe; like get my ass up off the couch and move kinda belief; that he is love. pure love that doesn’t need to judge, or condemn, or adjust itself and when that kind of love is going on…in those seconds in my life that i have felt that way…there is no spite; no pain…no hate…just pure God love…and those moments make this last week bearable.

So i will continue to be still today and breathe in the breath of God and let him love me…because if I don’t…i will never survive the kind of week I had last week.

Love & Grace.

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