For most of my life I have always followed the pack; granted I have always been noisy about it but since i never felt like I had a choice I followed the best my rebellious heart and heavy legs could. so many rules and regulations and musts and ‘if you don’t’…I always had someone else’s definition of God, never even dawned on me it was okay to have my own.
So The Book states ‘God created us in his own image’ and in the last 5 years in particular, I have grasped the idea that God’s image is unique and beautiful and different; we mirror different unique parts of God…having that swirling around in my heart the thoughts became ‘why then, would God want us to follow him in groups, with all the same thoughts; doing all the same things’…
I choose to believe that if I don’t get on my knees and pray; if I don’t read certain verses everyday that God doesn’t change how he feels about me. My way of meeting God is as unique as his desire for me when he ‘created me in his own image’!
I am getting the concept of freedom in my relationship with God. I am getting that HE does not care if we meet over my morning coffee as the sun is rising or if I chat with him and the end of the day…most days I do both. I invite God in…not through pomp and circumstance but through the ordinary, quiet life I lead. AND HE COMES….i thought since i became a “born again Christian’ that I HAD TO…oh that stuff is never said by any group of people it is the subtle eroding message that if I don’t do these things specified by an organization and interpretaed by humans; that I somehow was not in communing with God. THIS is the very reason I have stopped going to church.
I desire to meet God however I am…not through someone else’s ‘shoulda, coulda, woulda’ list. I need to know that God loves me no matter where I am…and that, my friends, has only happened when I let others expectations of my relationship with Jesus go and I started becoming okay with my way of relating to him.
I haven’t gone to church for years; I don’t think God judges me about that; I do believe that Jesus meets me over coffee in the morning; mid day in my quiet, deep breathing time AND as I get ready to slumber and tell him thank you for all the days gifts.
It is a continual process of removing thoughts that don’t work anymore. Trusting GOD not man; to love me no matter what..accepting that God is love that is all…anything else is my judgement of myself…
May this day I lean into the love my Creator offers me and share it with others.
Love & Grace.