Compromise…What?

“…an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions….” So what’s it called when only one side is the one making the concessions?

I am done battling. I have neighbors who insist on NOT smoking 20 feet away from my window and so today I went into the management with my papers in hand ready to do ‘battle’ and ended up walking out saying ‘I can choose a different time to be in my back yard than them and whether or not they violate the lease it is not my business but please, can you talk to them and ask them if they can shuffle away from my window when they smoke”…that is the compromise I came to…minding my own business and ‘sucking it up’.

The whole thing is when they are in the back yard AND on the sidewalk in front of my window I cannot open any windows or my sliding door because all their smoke comes in here…I did what management asked me to do by writing dates and times down and it didn’t matter.

So the deal is I need to get use to breathing in other people’s smoke…my environment is not going to be smoke free 100% because they choose not to compromise…

Has that ever happened to you; seeking a compromise and not reaching one because someone else is too stubborn or greedy or whatever it is…I keep asking myself NOW WHAT? I can’t help but feel I got the proverbial short end of the stick…and if it wasn’t a health issue I wouldn’t care…my health is becoming more and more important to me the less I have it.

The REAL ISSUE…I feel like no one hears me! I feel like management doesn’t hear how much this is hurting me…and that puts me in immediate defense mode because when something or someone has hurt me no one ever hears and it continues to happen over and over and over so like a wounded animal the only way i know how to get heard is by talking louder which sets up a whole other different cycle…

yep it’s true..when i am sharing with you (whomever you is) that I am wounded in some fashion and you act like you don’t hear me, it chips away at my soul bit by bit by bit; I lived there for 40 years, not being heard…and finally I quite trying to be heard because contrary to everything people say one person very often cannot affect a change; one voice doesn’t matter to anyone except the person sharing it so…

here i am trying to grab some peace and not care about what others are doing and hoping against hope my lungs will quite hurting….i gave up hope of ever being heard about this issue…and since it is only harming me it truly doesn’t matter…the management company is not being affected in any adverse way regarding someone’s smoke as long as they are doing it outside it doesn’t matter…oh yea and supposedly 20 feet away from any of the buildings they own…

so i am feeling defeated; my gall bladder, or the space where it use to be, every now and then is shooting sharp pains enough to make me cry but not constant pain anymore..and underneath it all i am grateful; grateful i am no longer bound to cigarettes.

Love & Grace.

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