Hey Charlene…

Yep it’s been 20 years already and somehow it seems like just this last Saturday I got the call that changed my life forever!!!

“Lisa, Charlene is dead. What? Charlene died on the way to the hospital, we couldn’t revive her….”

And then the longest silent pause…i don’t know if it is over today…this day has always been shrouded with a very long pause…even anticipating this day…there is still that pause that causes my whole being to feel like no time at all has passed…

Oh God Charlene I miss you like I miss my breath when I go underwater…I have missed you every single day…you are definitely NOT a ‘Lisa just get over it’ kind of person in my life…

You were the very first woman I felt loved me…that I could actually feel love from…because it was always, always without any conditions…

Like the song says…’I Am Nothing Without Love’. Thank you so much for showing me daily what love looked like; for being my first example…i often regret that I moved to Alaska…and then it passes…what i regret is that you are not here anymore…

I just wanted to say thank you this day for everything…I know in some small part that if you had not passed…I would never, ever have come to the end of myself and been in a position of NEEDING My Creator like I did in 2005…

I miss you. I miss your laugh. I miss The Holler. I miss KiKi. I miss Gypsy. I miss you and the place for you is and always will be so etched out in my heart. No one will ever replace you.

You are even mattering to me in your death…

We will see each other soon

oxoxoxoxo

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