My Perfect is Not Your Perfect…We Are Both Perfect!

So one more time my life smacks me right in the face again….this may seem like rambling and maybe it is so bare with me…

So I just got a text from a friend of mine about her stopping her inhaler(s) after four years in favor of this juice she is making with all natural, yummy stuff and instantly my innards reacted..

I felt like I needed to stop using my inhalers; even though I just started them a few months ago because somehow I have developed asthma..but the thing that really got me is how quickly and instantly I beat myself up and don’t feel good enough because I am still doing the inhalers…the comparison and how quickly it happens is what prompted the writing this morning.

I hate that about me; it almost seems like it is a totally subconscious kind of thing; the comparing myself…it is almost like my head is in waiting…waiting for anyway it can gather ammunition and store it until my most vulnerable moments and then “BAM!” it sets itself on a trajectory of ill thoughts that turn into the horribleness of the world…

I hate being dependent on ‘things’ to help me along in my everyday life…I HATE IT!!! I took myself off the steroid inhaler because steroids of any kind make me a raving lunatic…for real…so the one I still use 4 times a day is the one that helps me breathe better so I can walk up a tiny hill without feeling like I am going to literally pass out…it is doctor prescribed and absolutely okay that I use it…doesn’t make me better/worse than any body else…doesn’t mean I am weaker somehow…AND YET…the head won’t shut up about all of those things…

i have done a lot of internal, deep work on myself, brought the shadow me out into the light…and have done a lot of work changing thoughts by learning thought process’ and keeping what is valuable and throwing the rest away..this comparison thing, if I didn’t know better I would say that it is innate in every single human being on the planet…and that we all have thoughts and comparisons that each one of us needs to over come…

Having said all of that…i need to practice breathing deeply and listen to my soul…that deep down voice that tells me things like “there is no one that is better or worse than you”; “you are enough”, “you are a beautiful blessing to the Universe just exactly as you are”…I am happy for my friend…I hope this is a long term solution for her…and I am happy for me; for finally going to the doctor a few months ago to figure out why I couldn’t make it up a simple hill…

We are both perfect examples, in all our loveliness, of a Perfect Creator.

oxoxoxoxox

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