Hello

There is a beautiful storm raging outside my coastal home window and  the thoughts are floating around my head like flushed water in a toilet bowl so…here we are.

I have always had a supreme longing in my heart this time of year; for what, up until recently, I thought was  family and kids and ‘life around the christmas tree’ and just recently i believe i have come to believe that that supreme longing is for days gone by, long ago; far away…

i always feel like who i am and the love i have in my heart for those that are close is never enough this time of year and it brings sorrow…even though i know it’s a lie my head battles on..i don’t have money to by the latest gadget or gizmo and i don’t even feel like that is the reason for this time of year..

i have me; all of me to give to those closest to me; and that means the good and the bad, the loud laugh and the warm tears; the honest, loving person that i am…and that has got to be enough…because you see, i give you ‘her’ all year around. it is who i am and who i am becoming and in my heart, the longing that i feel around christmas time is for a time i cannot recall in my conscious mind…

i have the desire very deep in my heart to draw close to My Creator; to learn that no matter what i have or don’t have, that truly, not just words, but truly that who i am is adequate. again, my brain struggles with this..but the peace in my heart around me being enough is there today and i can focus on that and let my head do what it will…

i love. i always have. and i love deeply, madly and truly. that is who i am. sometimes clouded over by the fear of the day, or the noise in my head but…i am love.

and that, my friends, is way more than i or anyone else could ask for. May i throw down all the lies, the chatter and the worldly noise that says ‘that just won’t do’ and listen, always listen for the Whisper of the One who created me; gently, quietly whispering ‘That my dear child, is way more than enough’.

OxoxoX

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