Showing Not Saying

So I’m thinking this afternoon…well I do that occasionally as you can imagine..and i keep going back to the notion, in some circles i listen/talk about Jesus so lets stick with that for a second…GOD HIMSELF came to be in the form of a man…a simple, ordinary man…he was given a mom & dad; probably even had a dog…this, as “they” say was God’s gynormous way of SHOWING us how much he loved us..so now we got a ‘bro on our side’ and advocate if you will with the Big Guy…

GOD HIMSELF FELT IT NECESSARY TO SHOW US, not to talk about it in a Sunday social gathering but to SHOW US…the love he was talking about…SHOWED US…

so when someone professes with their lips they follow Jesus(which I don’t have a problem with one bit)and they don’t have time to SHOW LOVE…well let’s just say it leaves me sort of scratching my head..like ‘how can you say you’re one thing and not live by it’…now I know life has a way of sneaking up on us with jobs, family’s, other obligations but I have never asked to have thrown out the red carpet and given any special treatment…

I just desire people, particularly those that talk about how much they love Jesus to SHOW ME…I would settle for a text, a phone call, an email…yet for some reason I am the one that has to make the first move…reaching out the them…and today…I am just tired of it…Again I get that your relationship with God is changing and you feel like you are “all alone just him & you” and yet…you’re not…you say you are “thinking about me” yet lately the only time I have known about it is after I send you a text that starts out with “was just thinking about you so I thought I’d let you know” or something equally as nice to let you know when I think of you…

this is the dynamics of relationships that I just can’t hang with..I walk away always feeling like I give more than I get and why…why is this person still in my life if they can’t communicate with me when their heart tells them too? I just get so sick of this…feels like a giant game that I am just not interested in playing…

and alas…not one bit of it is my shit…i text when I feel like it; when I am nudged too and I suppose it is customary for most people to say “i was just thinking about you’ even if they aren’t. ya see the thing about me is…i don’t say it if I haven’t…here we are…the same place…and I will just stop texting you altogether…you aren’t really interested in my life anyway oh you say you are but how do I know that? If my God changes (and is constantly) what happens when that is the only thing we have in common…maybe i just don’t have anything in common with you anymore…not so sure i ever did…except Jesus….and God is morphing God self into something much bigger; doesn’t mean I don’t love Jesus…I just dig God a bit more today…God is big enough for my bogeyman…Jesus isn’t.

OxoxoX