Can I just tell you I have been going through it the last couple of months. I know that my processor and the way I look at and process things is genuinely different than most and I also know that some things are just plain exhausting.
I have a neighbor who has been just really, really troublesome for me, and my soul and it has been difficult. I am a creature that MUST have quiet. I have finally quit denying that about myself and have accepted it one hundred percent. I MUST HAVE QUIET!
Now to most, I don’t think that is any big deal; when i don’t have quiet my soul feels like it is deteriorating, I become incapable of not slipping into old ways and the stuff that occurs again in my brain is almost to overwhelming for me. I have been having night terrors again where i am seeing myself cutting myself again and it is just not good.
So yes, quiet has become a necessity for me; almost just like breathing and eating.
I have had to pursue getting this woman and her two children removed from the property which takes its toll on me as well; continuing on with a process that will remove someone from their home well…let me just say it started out as me going to all lengths to communicate with her and yet she is so closed off, that I had to pursue other means…
By other means I mean I have had to go through management and my neighbor received an eviction notice last week. This has been an excruciating process; it didn’t happen quickly or simply because I was not getting my way. I have a deep soul understanding of what it is like to be homeless and can’t imagine how much more difficult it would be with children AND…the path I was heading down as a result of the noise coming into my home was leading me right smack dab into the middle of feeling like i was a victim again and again; I am still having night terrors…
Today my brother & sis are coming over to pick up a scarf I made for him..not just any scarf, one that consists of 14 charts and over 63,000 stitches..so it will be nice to visit with them instead of hearing just the pounding neighbors…I am so looking forward to that I can hardly see straight.
So that is what is on the agenda today friends. May your day be filled with light, love and peace as you journey forward on this Monday.