The last two months I have been away have mostly been chaotic and stressful and horrible. My neighbor is still here; and it hasn’t been pretty.

Let’s just suffice it to say that living life online’s terms is very, very hard and I don’t care what kind of God you believe in, we are still here to deal with the emotional side of life.

I decided to write today because I am just blown away at whatever it is I am suppose to be learning; or maybe I am not suppose to be learning anything but again, I am finding an ongoing stream of barely coping not a fun place to be.

I got $78.00 taken off my debit card by someone and I have gone through all the channels to get it back only to be told ‘we don’t see the error’. To me it is perfectly clear; their were charges that were put on my charge on August 5th that I, nor Apple, can see on my account which, according to them equals I wasn’t the one to make them. I proceeded to get a hold of the institution that takes care of my card only to be told a month and a half later, they see no error. I sent them a copy of my Apple receipt, which clearly states I was not the one to make the charges, yet they show up taken off my card…

This kind of stuff is really way more confusing to me than I can deal with…it is definitely a ‘pile on’ and I am struggling in this moment to want someone else to look at the information the institution got so they can see what I am talking about a/k/a see the error. I know $78 was taken off my card. I know I didn’t do it. I also know that part of me feels like $78 isn’t worth the fuss AND I only receive $733 dollars a month to live on so $78 feels like a million…

Again this is a pile on as my sister calls it; I have been struggling big time and that is just the season now. I trust it won’t always be like that but that is the way it is now…

I am stuck on ‘we don’t see the error’….how many times do I see it, and no one else does…if you can’t see it in your own behavior, how can you point it out in someone else’s…I don’t know…I am trying to think the “right Christian way” and be a “good Christian” when everything inside me at this moment is screaming ‘why me’?

I quite being a “normal, good” Christian a very long time ago…I just get so disheartened when I keep doing the right thing, and it all keeps getting turned upside down.

Much Love


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