Good Morning…

I just got word that someone from my past, not in a bad way, wants to reconnect. Apparently I have done such a great job at being incognito online that no one who use to know me can find me. That is what I desire. I want to have control over who is in my life, whether virtually or in real time, at all times.

So I am not to terribly anxious to get ahold of this person for a number of reasons. I don’t want to loose who I am now. I don’t want or need the past drudged up, we went our separate ways, words were shared, we both got on with our lives…I don’t need or desire a therapist in any way shape or form. Seems like in my previous life (a few years ago) the only people I had in my life were counselors/therapists and although the ‘helping’ wasn’t blatant and obvious, I can still see how they all thought I was a problem that needed fixing.

Now my head says that said counselor things I have been drinking and she wants to make sure she can’t offer her services to me in some fashion. That is, upon reading it, a bit extreme and yet…I just can’t bring myself to seek her out…for what? We have nothing in common anymore. I am peacefully blissfully sober and enjoying my life. I don’t go to meetings anymore, I don’t desire drama of any kind in my life…

And the other part says…maybe…there are very few people who can handle who I am now because I am not a jesus freak, angry loud person…and that is the context most people have me in…

I don’t know…she is not worth risking my mental health, she is not worth risking my emotional well being and the grounded person I have become. I am one of those people that believe there are people who can mess with my grounding; doesn’t mean i am not strong or that I lack faith…

I am just breathing deeply and thanking Goddess that I am here to live and love and laugh another day.

It is sure interesting to me how someone has to go through a completely unknown party to reach me however!!



2 thoughts on “Good Morning…

  1. I have always lived by the three words that were handed to me by a person who is no longer in my life, “Trust your gut.” I have had to walk away from many like you, either to simplify my life or to really understood that the love I gave, was no longer reciprocated and they didn’t respect me enough, to be honest with me. I wish you the best of luck as I know that writing out a few in your life is not easy. But I had one person say to me: “Just because you love them, doesn’t make them healthy for you.” I have swallowed the tears and walked away, only to find out that many don’t even notice, nor do they make an effort to find out why. I wish you the best of luck and know that your words don’t fall on deaf ears.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s