The Beauty That I See…

This is a photo of me 17 days without sugar!!  YAY ME!!!

I woke up and was itching y neck like crazy and this photo is blown out (my forehead and cheeks weren’t that red) and I looked myself in the mirror and told me that I loved me and snapped this ‘before’ photo as a keepsake.

My body AND my brain are currently so at peace with not having sugar in me it is amazing. I am connecting to true, real peace and it is wonderful.

May you all find that inner peace throughout this, the last day of June 2017.

Deep Love & Rich Blessings.




A New Thing…The Beauty That I See

I think I am going to start a new thing since I am again removing, once and for all, sugar from my life I am going to start sharing a photo a day and call it “The Beauty That I See.”

No matter if it is written or a snap; iPhone or Cannon.

THIS is The Beauty I See for Wednesday June 14, 2017…


It was taken with my Canon t3I. I get to see this plant be its true authentic self every day and it is wonderful…

Doesn’t the inner circle of yellow look like a heart?

Deep Love & Rich Blessings.

I’m not an evangelical anything anymore! And I’m breathing and having my being in that truth for me…and it’s fabulous!!!

I believe in my depths that My God rejoices when I wear a polka dotted rain slicker that doesn’t fully snap in the front cuz there is no snaps, and I go to the grocery store to get groceries and it’s pouring down rain!! 

I do not believe, being a native Oregonian, that one cannot whistle and hum when they are feeling the raindrops dance to their own rhythm on my head!

I glorified My God this morning by taking care of me, chatting with folks I’ve never met, and whistled and hummed all the way home because my heart was overflowing with blessings in this moment.

No longer am I bound to doin it this way or doin that way, if it doesn’t included that then it’s not…those actions no longer hold my body or mind captive to the coulda, woulda, shoulda dance!!

I am free to dance in the rain and share the light that always lives in my soul rain or shine!!

What an awesome God/dess I relation with!

Have a wonderful rainshiny day!!!


Sock Junkie…

I think it’s happened…

Three pairs in and I’m hooked. Not just because they are a simple project. Not just because  they are quick and easy to ‘kick out’ but rather because the  yarn is so wonderful and actually creating something that I can wear is nothing short of a miracle…for real.

I have ordered 8 skeins (the dark blue one in photo is for my sister) of fingering weight yarn all for the purpose of creating beautiful and happy feet…

I love the simplicity of a sock. I love that once I memorize the pattern, I don’t have to look at it anymore and I can even watch tv when knitting and purling.

I love that I persevered and had to gun-ho-ness to figure out how to finally make socks. I say finally because I have tried several times and it seems like in knitting, as in life, that what I try to do may not be succeeding in the moment because it isn’t the right moment…

So I persevered. I love creating something with my own two hands. I can get as sporadic with colors as I want. It is totally up to me.

I love that.

Perseverance and letting go all at the same October I have made a total of three (plus one) pairs of socks already and I am gonna keep going. It brings me great pleasure…

Now to get my mom’s size foot…

Rainbow Colored yarn is called Unicorn Poop…I mean come on 😛

Much Love




Yep, you read it right. It is a challenge to myself, just because, to write a blog post (BloPo) every day of this month (Mo)!! And the Na is but of course….national.

I have no direction, not going anywhere or working towards a book or anything I am just writing.

I am not sure of the desired result, however, mine is just to see if I can write something on this blog every day.

Today has been a good day, bill paying day always is at my house. And I got to order some Unicorn Poop (didn’t know it was edible, but this is yarn) had a coffee this morning and came home and ordered more yarn (including some for my sister)…AND…I still have money on my bank card…

I am feeling uber grateful about that and very, very blessed for sure.

I am currently working on a variegated sock and I think I am going to watch something…just cuz I can.

May the rest of your day be filled with love and light.



To Whom It May Concern;

On this day thirty years ago, I walked into a house with dirty clothes, a dirty body and an angry, angry angry soul.

I had just got kicked out of a traveling carnival; my mom(who was on a hit list a week before) came and got me and took me to treatment for drug and alcohol addiction.

I was tore up from the floor up! The only word I knew was ‘fuck’ and I used it in regards to everything. I was the meanest bitch you would ever wanna know. I pulled the guy who was going to go to my parents house and slit my mom’s throat from ear to ear in her sleep. I had not one once of love in my heart; was totally black. Was not accepting love coming in either and I hurt some real kind people very badly with the things I said just to keep them away from me.

Love equaled pain. Love was not real. Love was an illusion, used by people who only wanted something from me. Know one loved me for being me; me was so far gone down the black hole and she was never coming out for no one or nothing.

I got kicked out of treatment after six months and when I left there, all the counselors told me I wouldn’t stay clean or sober one week after I left.

I sat in three AA meetings a day for the first five years of my sobriety; every single day because I needed too and because I couldn’t deal with real life. Thank God for Alcoholics Anonymous and the people there when I came through the door. I slammed my way through the house (on Baker Street where the meetings were) and made my way back to get coffee and everyone tried t welcome me and I proceeded to tell them all to fuck off. They would laugh and tell me things like ‘keep coming back’ and ‘let us love you until you can love yourself’…

I am still here…thirty years later…that is 10,950 one day at a time. I couldn’t even make it a full day for the first couple of years; I had an untreated mental diagnosis (that I didn’t really know about) I was raging being being molested for ten years by my dad(which I didn’t remember until I had twenty years of sobriety) and I had a whacked up emotional nature being raised in shame and guilt for the whole of my life.

I got to treatment nine days from my twenty second birthday. I seriously have not had a drop or a drug since the fiftieth of August 1986…

I am in no way, shape or form bragging about this. I share this here, this day; in the hopes that if someone is struggling with addiction they will have an infamous moment of clarity that allows them to be quiet enough inside to look at themselves surrounded by the walls of pain. Layers upon layers upon layers of pain..that take years and years to weed through.

Thirty years ago, I was consumed with a desire for others (particularly my mom) to take care of me the rest of my life. I was bound and determined to make her pay; for what I was never really clear about.

Today after layers and layers of work and pain and hate and blame have been worked through, I can honestly say I love both my parents very, very much. Forgiveness has been the balm that has healed our relationship. That is courtesy of a Loving God who never stopped loving me.

This is the start of another year, the end of one ore day; and it is a day that I can look back and see all my personal growth; I no longer hate with a passion that can drive you insane; I no longer am a slave to rage or addiction; I can lovingly tell people how I am feeling and work through bumps in relationships that matter to me today.

Two years ago, I got the opportunity to move over to the Coast which is where I have wanted to live since I was little. The ocean has always been my rescuer and always will be. I have been fully self-supporting for ten years now. I have relationships in my life that I never ever imagined I would have AND…I am able to let people know today when i hurt. I am not a shell walking around with no soul. I am a soul walking a round with a shell that is peace and love and kindness and gentleness.

Thank you seems inadequate someone and yet…thank you Bill Willson and Dr Bob for just being two drunks who listened and shared and helped each other so that I may live and live my life oh so abundantly today.

If you are in the grip of a continuous and progressive illness and want a way out..please contact your local AA Chapter. You are not alone and you deserve to have a full, happy abundant life.

Much Love



Pic Of The Day…

I was once told, or read somewhere that a “weed is just an unloved flower”…somehow I related to that…to my soul.

I had just got done with my workout, went outside to enjoy a cup full of cherries and a cup of coffee only to look down and spot this….

May this day, and every day we remember that what is perceived in this world as a weed is just an unloved flower.